The Soul of Success Vol. 9 • February 8, 2006

Welcome to The Soul of Success On-Line Community for Women!

The purpose of this e-newsletter is to share ideas on living life more fully, comfortably, and peacefully.

Today’s topic is The Power of Acceptance—one of the great keys to peace. I have been on a conscious quest for peace since the early seventies, when I left the U.S. to spend two years in West Africa as a Peace Corps volunteer. While there, I re-read Herman Hesse’s Siddhartha, and knew that I would not rest until I knew the kind of inner peace that Hesse’s lead character ultimately experienced.

How does acceptance lead to peace? Is it possible to accept others even when we don’t agree with them? It is not only possible but essential if we want to stay centered  and remain grounded in stable emotions, good health—and peace.

So read on! I have an amazing story to share with you in the Feature Article below. I welcome your comments about this and any topic at jennifer@jenniferhawthorne.com.

Feature Article: The Power of Acceptance
by Jennifer Read Hawthorne

Mahatma Gandhi once said that “There is no way to peace; peace is the way.” And for those of us who care about peace in the world, we must understand that peace begins with the individual—meaning, you and me. How can we expect to have peace in the world if we ourselves are angry and out of balance—the opposite of peaceful?

But how do we find peace in a world that sometimes seem to have gone haywire? I believe that Acceptance is a powerful place to start. Accepting other people, political leaders, other races and religions—you name it.

Accepting a situation or another person doesn’t mean that we necessarily agree with them. It simply shows that we understand that life is made up of an infinite number of people, events, thoughts, opinions, values, lifestyles and beliefs—and it is not likely that we are ever all going to agree with one another on everything. In fact, life would probably be pretty boring if we all thought exactly the same way.

The challenge is this: Can I accept that you and I have different values and  opinions, but yours are as valid for you as mine are for me? It doesn’t threaten my opinions and beliefs if you feel differently about something from me. We may not choose to spend a lot of time together, but we don’t need to judge each other as being wrong or bad or inferior—just different.

I learned a lot about acceptance growing up in the Deep South, in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where racial tension was often high. In the eleventh grade, my all-white high school, Robert E. Lee, was one of three chosen to be integrated, and I watched as students—both black and white—struggled through the transition into a new way of being in our city. I had a head-start, because my parents advocated for tolerance and against prejudice. But I’ll never forget the day when, living in West Africa as a Peace Corps volunteer, I suddenly realized that I no longer even noticed the color of a person’s skin. Such acceptance, given the black and white society I had grown up in, gave me a tremendous sense of freedom.

But the story of my dear friend Catherine is the one that taught me the true power of acceptance.

Catherine is from Shreveport, Louisiana, where barely a week went by that she and her husband didn’t appear in the newspaper in connection with some event or another. They were, as she said, “hot stuff in their little corner of the cosmos.”

One weekend. after many years of marriage, she and her husband slipped  away to spend the weekend at the country plantation home of some good friends, when her husband suggested they go for a walk. Catherine was pleased, but hardly prepared for what was to come. Painfully, he told her that he had fallen in love with a man.

Well, to put it mildly, Catherine felt her world blown apart. Not only was she shocked at his news, but they lived in a conservative town, often called “the buckle of the Bible belt.” She didn’t know how she would ever face people, and there were days when she could hardly get out of bed.

But she poured all the love from her broken heart into caring for their son. And together, she and her husband sought counseling from someone who specialized in gay issues. She read books and asked a thousand questions about what being gay was all about. And her husband talked with her for hours, a very changed person, now that his secret was revealed.

Sometimes Catherine felt compassion; at others, betrayal. But as time passed, in the darkest periods, Catherine cried out for help and eventually began to feel more centered and able to pull herself together, preparing for the unknown adventure of her new life. Through the details of their divorce, whenever she faced tough issues and had to make a decision, she would ask herself, “What would love do?”

In time her husband moved nearby, close enough so their son could ride his bicycle there and they could all stay close. It took fifteen years for another relationship to find its way into Catherine’s heart, but during that time she was able to heal from the trauma and begin a new life based on honesty as well as love. She outgrew the last stabs of resentment at how her picture-perfect life had been blasted apart. And she saw the deeper wisdom that provided all of them, including the new man in her life, the right opportunities at the right moments.

But there’s more. Catherine’s acceptance for her situation stretched so far that today, she and her son get together for holidays, birthdays and family trips with her ex-husband and his partner, whom she laughingly refers to as her “husband-in-law”!

And the peace in her life is something you can feel when you’re in her presence.

Remember, accepting another doesn’t mean you necessarily agree with that person. But it does imply a “Live and let live” kind of philosophy, one that really works, in my experience, and adds to the degree of peace we are able to feel. Not only is that good for each of us individually, but for the rest of the peaceful world we all hope to see. Because acceptance is often the first step towards healing, and always a move in the direction of love.

Adapted from The Soul of Success: A Woman’s Guide to Authentic Power, Health Communications, Inc., copyright 2005 Jennifer Read Hawthorne.

This article is also available in the two-volume CD set: 21 Keys to the Soul of Success. For more information, click here.

“21 Empowering Messages for Women”

The essence of The Soul of Success is now available as a digital product on-line. For more information, please visit http://www.21empoweringmessagesforwomen.com

Today’s Tip

Is there something or someone in your life that’s really bugging you? In my experience, when I feel angry, resentful, upset, afraid about anything or anyone, it’s because I haven’t done my own homework. Here’s what I recommend: first, let go of thinking your discomfort is anyone else’s fault. Second, try accepting that the other person has every right to her own opinions—even if they’re different from yours. Finally, take responsibility for your own feelings and remember what The Course in Miracles says: We are never upset for the reason we think.

Readers Speak

A big THANKS to all who took the time to answer the question in our last issue:

Are you on “information overload”? Does this newsletter help you in any way, or is it just another e-mail to delete from your too-crowded In-Box?

Most of you agreed that, yes, you are indeed on information overload—and you enjoy the newsletter and find it valuable. So I’m going to keep writing, but less often than before. Thanks again for your input!

Ask Jennifer

Do you have a question for Jennifer? Send an e-mail to: jennifer@jenniferhawthorne.com with “Question for Jennifer” in the subject line. All topics are welcome!

To Book Jennifer Read Hawthorne for a Keynote Presentation:

Please call toll-free 877-357-6446. Or visit www.jenniferhawthorne.com.

Contact Us

Your feedback is always greatly appreciated. Please e-mail us at info@jenniferhawthorne.com

The Soul of Success is a free e-newsletter published twice a month by Jennifer Read Hawthorne, copyright 2005.

The Soul of Success respects your privacy and does not give out or sell our subscribers’ names and/or e-mail addresses.

Have you missed previous issues of The Soul of Success e-newsletter? They can be found on our web site at: http://thesoulofsuccess.com/newsletter/.

To Unsubscribe

We send e-newsletters twice a month. Please feel free to forward this to anyone you know who might be interested (friends, family, students, etc.) and invite them to subscribe to our e-newsletter. If you have received this email in duplicate, please email us: info@jenniferhawthorne.com

You may be removed from our list by clicking unsubscribe.