The Soul of Success Vol. 5 • October 28, 2005

Welcome to The Soul of Success On-Line Community for Women! I’m delighted you’ve joined us for this issue of The Soul of Success e-newsletter on The Power of Intuition.

This community is about finding balance in life, looking for ways to balance the inner and outer aspects of life. Intuition is a part of the inner value of life that can affect the outer aspect in a significant way. It’s something we’re all born with, yet are trained out of for the most part! Rediscovering where and how to look for our intuition can impact our lives from the tiny decisions of daily life to the “destiny point” decisions. I hope you enjoy the Feature Article on Intuition, and that you’ll share your experiences about intuition with us.

In this Newsletter:

• Ask Jennifer
• Feature Article: “The Power of Intuition”
• Today’s Tip
• Readers Speak: This Week’s Question
• Next Issue: “The Power of Compassion”
• Contact Us

Ask Jennifer

A reporter recently interviewed me for an article he was writing for the Stanford Social Innovation Review. One of his questions was: “Much conventional wisdom has held that higher self-esteem leads to greater success. Some recent research (or a re-examination of older research) indicates that either a looser relationship exists or perhaps even that the cause-and-effect relationship is the other way around, i.e. that greater success leads to higher self-esteem. What are your feelings on this topic? Do you believe that greater self-esteem can improve one’s chances for success?”

Jennifer: Both are true. A sense of achievement and appreciation from others can feed a person’s soul, bringing a deep sense of fulfillment. But we have to be careful about looking to externals exclusively as a foundation for our self-esteem. Certain kinds of traditional success may make a person feel better about himself/herself temporarily, but once they change or fade away, one is always left with oneself.

Greater self-esteem can definitely lead to greater success! It may also change a person’s definition of success, giving her the confidence to define success in her own way, rather than simply measuring herself by traditional definitions. Bottom line: True self-esteem emerges from a place within us that is deeper than our jobs, our relationships, our appearance and our bank accounts. When a person knows that he or she has value despite achievements, possessions—anything in the outer world—that’s freedom!

Do you have a question for Jennifer? Send an e-mail to: jennifer@jenniferhawthorne.com with “Question for Jennifer” in the subject line.

Feature Article: The Power of Intuition
by Jennifer Read Hawthorne

What do you think of when you hear the word “intuition”? Is it a thought that flashes through your mind? An inner voice? Maybe it’s a felt sense about something—like the proverbial “sixth sense.” Or maybe it’s not so subtle—like a loud message from your body telling you something you need to know.

Intuition can be all of these things, but here’s what my own experience tells me about it: First, we all have it. Second, it can be developed. And finally, when we know how to recognize it, it can be an unfailing guide to help us make decisions on every level of life, from the mundane to the life-defining.

A great place to start, when you want to understand how intuition works and how to develop it, is to simply pay attention to your own “body wisdom.” I’m learning that intuition is something I feel in my body. So when faced with making a decision or a choice about something, I try to notice how my body feels when I think of each possible path. If I feel expanded and happy, that tells me I’m on the right track. If I feel contracted or fearful, that tells me I might want to re-think the situation.

I also realize that when a thought comes into my mind, it’s usually for a reason. One of the strongest examples of this happened for me when I was living in Washington, D.C. many years ago. I had just graduated from college, and as a journalism major and political activist, I wanted to be close to everything that was going on in our nation’s capital. My life there was good; I loved living on my own, I loved my work with a Presidential commission, and I was in a wonderful relationship.

But one morning as I walked to work to work from my Dupont Circle apartment, past beautifully landscaped homes and impressive government buildings, the thought arose, “There must be something more to life than this.” I brushed it aside, but the thought began to recur. Then one morning, passing the Peace Corps building, something made me stop. I stood outside the building for a moment, asking myself what I was doing, then walked in. I asked for an application, filled it out over the next week, and dropped it off a few mornings later on my way to work.

A couple of months later, I was accepted. My mind couldn’t make sense of it. Was I really going to leave this wonderful, rich life to go to Africa for a couple of years? I felt as if I were standing on the edge of a cliff, wondering whether to jump.

I jumped. I couldn’t help myself. Although I didn’t know a thing about intuition at the time, the impulse to expand my life beyond “the box” could not be denied. I left my boyfriend, my family and my friends—not to mention electricity and hot running water—for an adventure into the unknown.

And you know what? The two years I spent in West Africa were two of the greatest of my life. On the surface, I had been terrified, but nothing could stop the voice inside that compelled me forward into a new life.

Now that was the voice of intuition at what I would call a “destiny point” in my life. But how does intuition play a role in the small choices we have to make every day?

An example might be a decision we have to make about one of our kids. When my children were teens, my son especially tested me with the things he wanted to do. Of course, I used my common sense, but sometimes I said no just because something didn’t “feel” right. He didn’t always like it, but over time, he came to trust my intuition as much as I did.

If you feel out of touch with your intuition, you might be overlooking it just because it’s so close at hand or because it’s really operating all the time. There are a number of excellent books on how to awaken your intuition.

But you might just want to keep it simple and remember the words of Naomi Judd, who described intuition this way: “Honey, that’s when your gut gets it before your head gets around to figuring it out.”

Adapted from The Soul of Success: A Woman’s Guide to Authentic Power, Health Communications, Inc., copyright 2005 Jennifer Read Hawthorne.

Today’s Tip

Our bodies are our greatest allies when it comes to telling the truth and revealing our intuition. The next time you’re faced with a decision about something, notice how your body responds to the choices you have in front of you. Do you feel a contraction or expansion in your chest? Does your stomach flip-flop? Does one choice make you feel exhausted? Does the other make you feel at peace? Notice. Just notice. Your answer to what seems like a mental dilemma may be found in the physical sensations and signals your body is sending you.

Readers Speak

Last issue’s question: Have you ever effected a major change in your life for the better by becoming honest about something—even if it was painful?

I’d like to share my experience with you: My husband wanted to move to California, where he had fallen in love with a new group of friends, a new lifestyle, work that called to him, and of course, the beautiful weather! I went with him to look around for the area we’d move to after our son graduated, but the truth was that I didn’t really want to move there. His new loves didn’t resonate very well with me, and I got knots in my stomach every time we talked about making the move. I didn’t want to admit that I would even consider the possibility of giving him up for things that might seem superficial to others.

Eventually he moved, and I stayed in our home in the Midwest. We went back and forth for a while, but over time, it became clear that marriage was no longer the best form for our relationship. On our thirteenth anniversary we had a private ceremony in which we pledged to surrender the old form and welcome the new form, whatever that might be, but remain steadfast in the love we felt for each other. Although I grieved for the loss of the day-to-day marriage. I never doubted it was the most honest and right thing for me to do.

Today, we remain close and loving, enjoying our deep and unique relationship, one that continues to grow. We have been open and honest with our kids, young adults in their early twenties, about our feelings and our commitment to love, regardless of its form. Our relationships with them remain intact and also ever-deepening.

This Issue’s Question for Readers: Do you feel that you are in touch with your intuition? Do you tend to listen to it or ignore it? Can you give us an example of something that’s happened recently when you did one or the other?

Send your 100-word answer to: jennifer@jenniferhawthorne.com. with “Story for Jennifer” in the subject line. I’ll share and discuss your answers in the next e-newsletter.

Next Issue: The Power of Compassion

Compassion is something we often think of in relation to some of the great spiritual teachers of the world, like the Dalai Lama, Mahatma Ghandi, or Mother Teresa. In fact, when I met Mother Teresa in India many years ago while traveling around the world, I got to experience compassion way beyond definition.

Join me in our next issue as we talk about compassion and whether it’s something that can be developed. I have a fantastic story to share with you about Lynne Twist, one of the founders of The Hunger Project, and the role compassion played when she was faced with the decision about what it meant to “walk her talk.”

Contact Us

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